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【搞笑说说】滑稽的幽默搞笑qq说说

滑稽的幽默搞笑qq说说

1、你在油腔滑调的话,小心我用洗洁精对付你

2、在上线不理我的话,我就送你个安乐死

3、分手了,一想到我女友欠我的钱,做梦都能哭醒!

4、以牛b的姿态去上班,一个月后拿上工资以Sb的姿态离开,还要来一句,我一定会努力的。

5、男:我是一个成熟男,但长得挺年轻:87岁,满脸粉刺

6、我的体型很魁梧,给人大哥的感觉:武松的大哥武大郎

7、我多年在清华大学熏陶,塑造了我今天的文化品位:在清华大学校门口摆地摊

8、你用RMB去兑换誓言,换来的却是誓言的背叛。

9、那一天我说我要走,你非拉着我不让走,不就是没还你钱吗。

10、天边有个太阳,水里有个你,狗爬式你玩了一天。

11、每天想你想你。想着想着就睡着了。

12、宁可喝醉让他难受,也不让他不喝憋屈。

13、你不用说,姐知道。姐很美、

14、啦啦啦啦啦啦、我是卖报的小行家、又赚了1块:

15、丶只有我抛弃你的份丶一你不理我的份。

16、失眠的我,一天只睡8个小时。

17、那天我偷偷的观察了你一天,你在哪里玩纸玩了一天,你咋那么有耐心。

18、水里有条死鱼,我想可能是水喝多了。

19、清晨的阳光,照不到我的屁股。

20、想要杜绝广告的最好方法就是~~~~~~~砸了电视和电脑。

21、我不是提款机,这个月的余款0?!

22、为什么带上面膜的我,别人会那么开心。

23、俗话说的好世上沒有後悔药,只有避孕药!

24、宁可我欠别人钱, 也不能让别人欠我钱,欠钱的大爷啊。

25、那个谁,你那个什么,对就是那个什么,晕欠我钱不给了是不。

26、我来自远方,没带来一些礼品,我走去远方,没人来送我。

27、如果你不能给我期待的回应。,那么就别压了黄线啊

28、高富帅难过美人关,我只是屌丝,但美人都让我过了

29、一段婚姻只能培养男人再次发现新大陆,只会让男人的挖掘出新视角(内涵)

30、叹气得不到自己想要的,而且还浪费时间,只有抢才是硬道理

31、年少时不懂爱,中年时分不清爱(内涵的话)

32、午夜十二点还不下线,会变成巫婆的。

33、对于上学和上班这两件事来看,我感概到请假理由越来越难编了

34、“跳槽”,一定要有“跳楼”的狠心,还要有“跳水”的技巧,最好还要有“跳蚤”的灵活,否则你最好“卧槽”。

35、爱你,爱到无法自拔。恨你,恨到深入骨髓。

36、女人不醉,男人没机会。男人不醉,女人没小费

37、上班有人坚持到底,有人坚持到底层

38、qq对话框里面的“正在输入”给了多少人期盼与失落

39、工资少得像笑话,日子过得像废话

40、离婚的人往往怨的都是当初结婚时的看走眼

41、别惹我,否则我会让你死得很有动感

42、对不起,哥又暗恋成功了

43、我闲余时间喜欢钻研历史,尤其是清朝历史:《甄嬛传》的忠实粉丝

44、我很喜欢看那种人生伦理的电影:各种盗版a片

45、我经常跟上层社会的人打交道:多次备警告严禁校门口摆地摊

46、我很热心,经常会关心老百姓的生活:看谁家外出忘记关窗户听说有人要菜饭我,我想去外面清静清静:警察要来抓我,我得躲避一阵子

47、我这个层次的人很不愿意去坐火车:经常骑个三轮到处卖天津大麻花

48、我领悟性很强,前女友将我送她的花插在一坨野粪上,我立刻就明白了

49、女:古人都说女子无才便是德,我很符合这点:我小学上到三年级退学

50、别人都夸赞烹饪技术好:因为不想每道菜都要试吃好几遍

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  51. #1

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